Finding a Career

This journey to find suitable, long sustaining, rewarding employment has been a very bumpy one. Over the past 2 years I’ve had 7 jobs that most had potential to become careers. But due to my lack of foresight and discipline, all of those opportunities fell on the way side and I found myself at the bottom again, unsure where I could go or what I would do with my life.

I am by no means an unqualified individual. I feel that I am an intelligent individual, although I have had an incredible record of doing stupid things. I am highly skilled in many different areas, I am a quick learner, very resourceful and can adapt to pretty much any situation. It is a natural talent I’ve used all my life. This “Jack-of-all-trades” scenario has however, made it quite difficult to stay interested in a single vocation. Many of my jobs over the past years I gave up to pursue other interests or positions, I had little regard for the trail I left, only focusing on the next big challenge ahead of me. This seemed like a foolproof system. Just like a frog jumping across a river, keep focusing on the next landing point rather then the one you are already on and eventually you will get to where you need to go. But this is not a sustainable practice. Careers are built on stability, not constant change, and the wishy washy attitude I took towards my positions and the companies I worked for eventually bit me in the ass.

When everything fell apart, I had nothing to fall back on. I had burnt every bridge I ever had and even past employers with whom were never related in my wrong doings, were still unapproachable because of my attitude about switching jobs on a whim. I had created an environment where it was very difficult to find a new job let alone a career path.

Of course, one can always find jobs when one needs to as long as you lower your standards enough. To get through some of the hardest times, I took jobs at places I never thought I would ever work at, just to make sure I could live. It was a humbling experience. I always felt ashamed, and embarrassed at the place I was at, unable to relax and just do my job, and constantly focused on my failures.

I thought it would take years upon years to pull myself out of that whole and I although I wasn’t happy with it, it was my reality and I had to live with it.

Hard work and determination pay off though. Although I did have a foolish attitude about career building in my past, I was always a hard worker and would do whatever I could above and beyond my job descriptions to make my positions more interesting.

This eventually rewarded me the opportunity to apply for a position with my current company that actually has some respectability and long term potential. Throughout the entire hiring process I figured I would be rejected because of my past and at one point almost withdrew my application for fear of rejection. However I continued to focus forward and gave the hiring process my full attention and determination. Eventually, I was hired and am now thriving in my new position. I am enjoying myself everyday and seeing the long term path I can create with this company. I still feel a little insecure about my past, but each passing day I feel more and more confident in my role and as a result, I am improving my performance each and every day.

This job has the potential to become a worthwhile career, and although my mind does wander to other ventures and potential vocations, if I ever do decide to switch, it will be a long thought out process with a well built plan. For now, I am happy, and this job brings me self respect and worth. It is helping me achieve my goals and ensuring a fruitful future.

The First Cup is The Easiest

I’ve gotten to the point in my journey where I am now able to focus on things that I’ve been neglecting or wanting to improve, but never took the leap. I had mentioned in a previous post that I wanted to improve my health habits and this included the daunting task of cutting back my coffee consumption.

My challenge to myself began by reducing my exorborant consumption from 5-6 large cups down to 1-2 medium cups per day.

The first few days of May went so well, I had easily reduced my consumption right down to one cup of coffee rather than two. I felt so good that I decided to try to go an entire day without coffee. Which I was able to achieve. With this new found confidence in my will power, I made the decision to up my challenge and cut out coffee completely for the rest of the month.

I’ve tried this before, but I’ve never been able to last longer than a week when I’ve put this challenge to myself in the past, but my new positive attitude was giving me the motivation I needed to believe I could succeed.

The first few days were a walk in the park. I didn’t crave coffee, and I didn’t experience any of the effects of caffeine withdrawal. However, yesterday I caught myself staring, not glancing, starting for an uncomfortable amount of time at a gentleman drinking a starbucks coffee. Although he never said anything, I’m sure he noticed my lingering eyes.

Even worse than just the craving, I starting suffering from a withdrawal headache yesterday. It was painful and I started bargaining with myself so I could allow one cup of sweet java. I didn’t break though. I fought against the urge, and the pain and eventually both subsided.

This is going to be a very tough month, but I will be incredibly proud of myself if I can do this.

Thanks Johnny Depp

Yesterday started off incredibly well and ended very badly. I have to try to ignore what is happening outside of my own life. I can’t control other people and what they say. I can only focus on me.