Getting My #DadBod in Shape

  It’s no secret that men gain weight in the first year of your marriage. Or maybe it is, and if so then try to eat more vegetables. It’s also no secret that men tend to gain weight when their wife is pregnant. They call it “Sympathy Weight” I call it an easy excuse to snack at 2am because my wife (and baby) wants pizza and ice cream.

Compound both of those lovely times in to the same year and you have yourself a full blown case of #Dadbod in no time. I’ve gained a surprising 30 pounds in the past year and it’s finally become noticeable. For a while I saw the number on the scale moving up, however it wasn’t until a pair of pants I was wearing (a pair of pants I’ve been wearing for years) finally couldn’t take the strain and the little button that finally couldn’t gave up and flew off in a mass exodus of freedom. To where it has gone, I shall never know, but I thank that little button for doing what it had to do.

Stress has always been a factor in keeping weight off a person. And over the past few years I’ve had truckloads of it. This past year, and the year preceding it have been pretty much stress free. Just the excitement of building a life together with my love, and that’s more exciting than stressful. I’m also getting up in years so that metabolism that would let me eat a large cheese pizza every day doesn’t just work itself off anymore. I’ve developed what is recently been coined a #Dadbod.

At first I wasn’t too concerned about it, actually I was pretty offended by the term. However after struggling with other tight fitting clothes and seeing my image in pictures today versus 2 years ago, I’ve come to understand, and represent the term quite well. Not that I am proud of it, but becoming a father and suddenly sporting a #Dadbod did bring a little realization that I’ve reached a new stage in my life. A stage I didn’t think I’d ever get to.

Being a father, preparing to be a father for the first time, I envision all the things I will need to do, to say, to teach to my little one. Picking up my child, carrying them around, running with them, teaching them how to be healthy and active, yep, I’m not going to be very helpful if I’m winded after climbing a set of stairs. There is a serious need for me to shape up. Fortunately, babies are small and just need to be picked up and held for the first little while so I’ve got some time before that running around that I keep hearing so much about.

Getting rid of the #Dadbod is necessary to ensure that I can be there for my child. If we were out living in the wild, the father is the protector, the hulking beast that defends and scares away predators and other threats. A big belly is not going to scare away anything other than flirtatious women (and I don’t have to worry about that anyway). But I also pictured my dad as that big strong guy that was always there for me, the invincible giant that could move mountains and fight bears. I want my kids to see me like that, not some blob that can make waves with their belly.

The time has come to fight the #Dadbod and start becoming the strong guy that my children should be able to feel safe and rely on on the instinctual level. More running, more weights, (let’s be honest, let’s just actually start doing these things again. Though more than nothing is still more). The battle against #Dadbod has begone and this new journey will ensure a longer, more enjoyable lifetime for both myself, my wife, and my children. #DadBodNoMore

The Beginning of a New Journey

This morning I woke up with tears in my eyes. I had awoken from a very intense dream, the details of which I’ll be attempting to figure out for weeks, but the ending will be one I shall never forget. The dream ended with me holding my newborn baby girl for the first time. She had dark hair, wore a pink onzie, and still had her hospital bracelet on and couldn’t quite keep her eyes open at the late hour. For some reason she could talk. She told me she loved me and gave me little kisses on my cheek while I held her close to me.

This is the first time I’ve dreamt something like this before, and certainly the first time since I heard the beautiful news that I felt the true reality that I am going to be a father. 10 weeks ago my wife and I found out that we were pregnant, after we just started trying. It was a powerful and emotional time for both of us. For her, she had been waiting for this for a long time now. She was meant to be a mother and the look in her eyes on the day we found out filled me with so much love and hope for our future. Myself, I can’t believe I am here in this life where I am now.

Not less than 2 years ago, when I first started this blog, my life seemed completely hopeless. And although I was determined to get back on track and make something of my life, I would never have imagined that I’d be where I am now. My future is bright and I am looking forward to being a father. Yes, it’s been a while since I last wrote a post and a lot of things have happened on my journey. I feel like I’ve become a new man for a while now.

When I first started out to change my life by fighting off my immature tendencies, forgiving my past, and doing what it takes to become a real man, I thought I was doing it for myself. I thought I was doing it so she’d (my wife) would be able to look at me and respect me. Now, almost two years since I began my new path, I’ve realized that my changes were meant so that I can be a better man that my child can depend on.

Families Are Frustrating

One of the biggest obstacles for me on this journey, as if there weren’t enough of them, was to overcome my negative feelings towards my family. I didn’t have a particularly smooth childhood and as an adult I was left with feelings of disappointment and resentment towards them. I nursed this pain for years and both myself and my parents rarely reached out to try to repair all of the damage that has been done. It has been frustrating to not have that family connection that so many people take for granted. I wanted it, but because of our past, we wouldn’t even try.

Going through my journey this year, I found a renewed urge to reconnect with my family. I had been working out my issues with my councellor and learned to forget the pain and focus on all the good things that happened in my childhood. I felt great to let that weight go, I have been carrying it for so long and it just felt normal to keep it there.

I was the one to reach back out to my family and when I did, I received great response. Things moved quickly back towards a positive relationship with them and I felt great that I could recapture what I thought was lost forever. When I rekindled with her, it became a personal mission to build a strong relationship with all members of my family so if and when she and I got married, she would be able to enjoy a second family. For several weeks now we’ve been planning a visit to to parents house. And to make things more exciting, my sister, who lives very far away, came down this week as well. So it was going to be a perfect trip to get her to see my entire family, and it would be great for me to see my entire family after I’ve been making all the progress I have. I felt really good about it all.

This morning we were supposed to travel up there, but I received not one, but two disappointments. My mother and my sister, both changed the plans and didn’t give me much warning. One of my mother’s cats fell ill and had to be put down so my mother was obviously upset and not up for a fun friendly visit, so although I was deeply disappointed, I understood. What made things worse was my sister cancelling on me this morning. She is the one that is very difficult to see regularly because of where she lives, so it was a very exciting time to be able to see her and have her meet my love. But without warning, my sister went back home and only told me after. Even with countless requests from me to stick around at least for the morning so we could see each other. It is extremely disappointing. I want to try so hard to rebuild with my family, and it feels like they don’t care. Maybe they are not ready, maybe they just don’t want to. I really can’t say.

I suppose these things happen though, and it shouldn’t be taken personally. We can visit my parents any time, they aren’t too far away, and I guess I’ll just have to work something out with my sister again before the summer is out. I want to stay positive with all this but it is very difficult. Families are frustrating and a lot of work. I can’t just expect things to be perfect right away just because I feel like I am ready. They need time to adjust too. Baby steps. We’ll get there.