The Beginning of a New Journey

This morning I woke up with tears in my eyes. I had awoken from a very intense dream, the details of which I’ll be attempting to figure out for weeks, but the ending will be one I shall never forget. The dream ended with me holding my newborn baby girl for the first time. She had dark hair, wore a pink onzie, and still had her hospital bracelet on and couldn’t quite keep her eyes open at the late hour. For some reason she could talk. She told me she loved me and gave me little kisses on my cheek while I held her close to me.

This is the first time I’ve dreamt something like this before, and certainly the first time since I heard the beautiful news that I felt the true reality that I am going to be a father. 10 weeks ago my wife and I found out that we were pregnant, after we just started trying. It was a powerful and emotional time for both of us. For her, she had been waiting for this for a long time now. She was meant to be a mother and the look in her eyes on the day we found out filled me with so much love and hope for our future. Myself, I can’t believe I am here in this life where I am now.

Not less than 2 years ago, when I first started this blog, my life seemed completely hopeless. And although I was determined to get back on track and make something of my life, I would never have imagined that I’d be where I am now. My future is bright and I am looking forward to being a father. Yes, it’s been a while since I last wrote a post and a lot of things have happened on my journey. I feel like I’ve become a new man for a while now.

When I first started out to change my life by fighting off my immature tendencies, forgiving my past, and doing what it takes to become a real man, I thought I was doing it for myself. I thought I was doing it so she’d (my wife) would be able to look at me and respect me. Now, almost two years since I began my new path, I’ve realized that my changes were meant so that I can be a better man that my child can depend on.

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Working My Ass Off

It has been a very busy week. I’ve ben doing a lot on all fronts. Obviously, making big steps in my improvement, ramping up my career search, organizing my own business venture, and actually putting in 100 per cent at my current job. I’m finding happiness, so I really don’t mind the long days. And as long as I have coffee, my only vice these days, then I am fine. It is tiring though. My days are around 20 hours long at the moment. I know it isn’t good to be pushing myself so much, but I am on such a good roll that I don’t want to stop or slow the momentum.

I feel like I am living three lives right now as I work on everything. Switching gears several times a day to makes sure all of my goals for the day are accomplished. I can’t run like this forever, but as I accomplish more, the less of the ‘neccessary’ items there will be, and Ill be able to focus strictly on building myself for the future.