The Next Step

I’ve been writing quite a lot tonight. There have been so many big changes and successes the past few weeks that I am in a great frame of mind and want to keep a record of the transformation and share my good thoughts.

There is one more big step on the list that I need to complete and I feel all of this additional writing is prepping me, or delaying me from completing it. I feel I need to apologize to everyone that I have hurt because of my actions. Perhaps not directly, but I destroyed a lot of relationships and broke trust with many people that I feel I owe them something, to let them know that I am regretful for what I have done, and that I am taking steps to become a better person.

I finished writing up the list of  people I wanted to apologize to, and it is daunting. There are a lot of people. Many may not be expecting to hear from me, but regardless, I feel bad for what has happened and how I have hurt them.

I feel like I need to write at least a few apologies tonight. It won’t be easy and will certainly be an emotional process, but it is necessary and will help in the healing process both for myself and for the people I have hurt.

I’ll do it, regardless how tired I feel right now. Regardless how much I want to delay this. Of everything I’ve accomplished, I won’t truly feel free until I’ve made amends (or attempted to make amends) with those I’ve wronged.

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