The more I reflect on the future, the more a “normal” life seems attainable. I’ve always done things differently and never when I’m supposed to, and its brought me to this point where I still feel unsure on what direction I want to take my life. But the fog is starting to clear. Getting a job, paying my bills, having my own place to live, owning a car, saving for the future, and having a fun and fulfilling social life, all seems just around the corner for me. It all makes sense. It seems so easy and I wonder why I’ve had so much trouble getting there after all these years. Such wasted time.
I’m just about to finish paying off my immediate debts, meaning, I can completely focus on my development. I am thinking about going back to school, furthering my education in a field I’m already familiar with, or perhaps something new, I’m not sure yet. In either case, I will become an expert in some field and it will be this field that I will develop my career in.
The springtime is symbolic of the next step of my journey. I was completely torn down to nothing over the winter, my old self dying. I was a barron wasteland of nothingness. Now, as spring arrives, I am truly beginninng the growth stage. A renewal of life. I feel good.