Tonight I was awoken by my best friend and current roommate at 2am. She had gone to the pub for a pint with her friend and had come home off her face drunk and emotional. She was stumbling around the house and crying for no particular reason at all. It was a reminder why I don’t drink anymore. Her and I went to university together and would spend most nights after class at a pub chatting and enjoying drinks. We would both stumble home when the bars closed and grudging get up for class the next day. It was our routine. Life now does not allow us to do such things and I am happy for that. Although I’ve pushed the boundaries of when and how much I should drink in the past, I’ve realized my problem and put a stop to it. We are grown ups now and have grown up responsibilities.
She had asked me to the pub tonight with her and I declined. I knew what the night would bring if I went out for “one drink” with her. I would be awake right now, incoherent and regretting how I was going to be feeling in the morning. Instead, although I am awake at this early hour, I am sober, I am writing, and I am happy with myself for saying “no” to a drink. I love my best friend to the ends of the earth, but she is an enabler and I now realize that. Not going out tonight to the pub and not having drinks feels good. It makes me feel like I am taking control of my drinking problem and not succumbing to my urges. It is tough, but I did say no tonight, and that makes me feel like a winner.