This morning I woke up with a new sense of hope. Perhaps it has something to do with the weather and how Spring has finally come around and brought us warmer temperatures and sunshine. Perhaps, it is because things feel like they are on the right track again. Last week I had some serious slips and felt like I would fall back into the abyss that I had created for myself over the years. I was close, and it brought with it much despair. But this morning, waking up to sunshine on my face and a full new day and week ahead of me I had nothing but positive feelings. I spent the morning planning and organizing my week and it made me feel even better. I have purpose, I have direction, I have goals, and I have the drive. I can see a few of my goals from The List about to be completed and I am starting to feel even more motivated to continue. I’ve been working away on my massive life to-do list for a while and as I cross items off, the better I am feeling. Incremental steps, as long as they are in the right direction, are always a good thing, no matter how small.
Although I owe a lot of my progress over the last month to my own personal drive to change, there are a few wonderful people out there that have supported me and given me the strength and help I needed to put my life back together. I am realizing that my past self did not give these people the respect and love they deserved. They have always been there for me and I never really appreciated it. But I am now. These people have done so much, though they wouldn’t think it much, but they have given me so much and I will not squander it. Friends are one of the most important things you can ever have. It’s not the number of friends though. The old me was dedicated to just acquiring mass amounts of friends, and it didn’t bring any fulfilment. It’s about the quality of the friendships that you keep. True caring is hard to come by and build, and very difficult to maintain if you’re dividing your time among large groups of people. A small group of really good friends is the way to go. This is a great realization. And through this ordeal, my true friends have shown themselves, and I love them for it.