Breathe…

I am having a panic attack right now. The weight of everything I’ve done, the people I’ve hurt and disappointed is coming down on me so hard right now I feel like I can’t breathe. All of the regret is running through my mind. I feel like I am about to lose it. I am using every ounce of strength I have to keep in control and keep myself composed. I feel completely lost and hopeless. I’ve been wasting my life, I’ve been wasting my talents, I’ve been wasting my potential. I’m exactly where I was 10 years ago, probably even worse.

I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to go, I can’t focus. Why did I do this? Why did I have to be so ignorant of the consequences and be so self destructive? I’ve lost everything that mattered to me and I don’t think ill ever be able to get it back. What reminance of a life do I have left? Right now, it feels like none.

I need to breathe…

I’m getting all worked up here. I just need to breathe…

Writing this out and pausing to breathe is helping…

Today is going to be a rough day.

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