There has been so much going on lately, it is hard to find the time to write every day. There is great progress on the many different fronts and it is all very exciting! I’ve made a huge breakthrough with her, I am actually starting to produce income through my own business, I’ve started developing some new skills, and I am learning a lot about myself through counselling. Unfortunately this is making me busier than I anticipated and things are starting to get disorganized again and I can’t have that happen. If I start becoming disorganized again, I may start losing sight of what I want to achieve and may even start slipping into old behaviour patterns. I can’t have that. Today, I need to take a hard look at where I was a month ago and remember that I do have a plan and that I need to follow it.
One month ago was February 21, 2013. At that time, it had been about a month since my misdeeds were found out. It had been 3 weeks since I lost my job, and 2 weeks since I had lost the girl of my dreams. I was lost with where I wanted to go with my life, I didn’t have a single prospect ahead of me. I had stepped down from all of my commitments and contacted everyone that was affected by my actions. I was feeling very low and had serious thoughts of hurting myself. I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating, and spent the majority of my time staring at my computer screen while a movie played as a distraction. I was moving out of my apartment soon and at that time, I didn’t know where I was going to be living. The future seemed very bleak and I didn’t think there would be any way to pull myself out of this spiral.
I’ve accomplished a lot in one month. I have to stay on track. Some days it seems like everything is moving too slow, and others, it seems like its moving too fast. But I can’t lose sight and must remain true to The List and accomplish what I need to accomplish before I start working on the things I want to accomplish.
I am getting there, but I need to stay focused. We can do this.