Identifying Weaknesses

Part of becoming a man is finding out where my flaws are and if there is anything I can do to fix / change / over come them. In order to be a better person, I need to know what has been holding me back. Before I can do anything though, I needed to identify as many as I could, then tackle the ones that could be overcome, and learn to live with those I cannot change, and even channel those weaknesses that could actually provide strength. I spent an evening reflecting on my life and what might have been the root cause for any negative situations or mistakes. I came up with a fairly long list. It is daunting to find so many flaws, but also a bit comforting to be able to see just what has been holding me back during my life. Looking at this list, I feel pretty low with myself. However, these flaws are not active every single day, I am still a good person, but these weaknesses are the reasons for much pain I might have brought upon myself over my life.

I am pretty sure this list is not exhaustive, and many are similar, but I feel like it accurately represents my biggest weaknesses. I will periodically review and update this list as I think of more.

  • I don’t plan, I just react.
  • I may have foresight, but I just don’t act when I should.
  • I live like I’ve already achieved all of my goals.
  • I am not honest with people.
  • I lie for no reason or lie about silly, trivial things.
  • I always blame my past for any of my shortcomings.
  • I rarely take responsibility for my actions.
  • I tend to ignore my obligations.
  • I think I am better than others.
  • I am jealous of other people’s success.
  • I always feel I deserve more.
  • I feel like the world owes me something.
  • I manipulate people and reduce them to means.
  • I have no true direction, I am aimless.
  • I am lazy at times.
  • I expect things to just happen.
  • I get bored easily.
  • I do not think about the consequences of my actions until it is too late.
  • I can easily close myself off to people.
  • I don’t value real relationships.
  • I always look for how a situation can better me.
  • I have too much self pity.
  • I care too much about what others think.
  • I always feel I need to prove myself.
  • I expect success to just eventually happen.
  • I neglect personal growth.
  • I avoid negative / difficult situations and matters.
  • I over indulge.
  • I have too many vices.
  • I don’ t have will power / limits / self control.
  • I never focus on what’s most important.

Some of these can be overcome and I will overcome them. Others, I need to learn how to deal with them. Creating this list has been an activity of honesty with myself, which is something I’ve been avoiding as well.

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