This past week has been big for realizations and there are a lot of posts I want to write tonight. Of all of them, this is probably the most positive one. I don’t want this blog to turn into a sappy blog about love for a woman, but I can’t talk about my journey to become a man again, without including one my biggest motivations for doing so. I’ll keep this one short.
This past weekend I met up with my former girlfriend after a month of separation to talk about what has been going on. It went well.
Afterwards though, I didn’t hear from her. I had left her with the responsibility to continue our communication as I didn’t want her to feel obligated to talk to me. After a wonderful conversation on Friday, I hadn’t heard from her for 3 days and I started to worry that maybe she had come to some realizations of her own and was done with me.
I was going to leave it, but came across a tweet today ” Sometimes a simple “I miss you” changes everything”
This tweet resonated with me because our conversation this past Friday, our potential reconnection and reconciliation all came from a short email from her that said she missed me. That email was my salvation and filled me with hope. After reading this tweet, I felt like I should let her know that I appreciated that she met with me and that I enjoyed myself. I didn’t want to hide myself from her.
Within minutes she replied with similar sentiments and I felt like I was on cloud nine again. The sheer fact that she is willing to communicate with me is enough to sustain me during this difficult time. Even though I hurt and embarrassed her, she might, just might, be able to forgive and move forward, to the point where we could salvage this relationship and continue to build our life together.
The text conversation was short, but gave me every indication that she is open to a reconciliation, eventually. It made my day and still makes me smile right now while I think about it. She is an incredible woman. When I do make it through all of this, when I can stand tall, look in the mirror and call myself a man, it will be because of her understanding, her strength.