Last night was the first time in over a month that I slept for a full night. Although I have been absolutely exhausted every single day, every night when I would lay my head down to sleep, my mind would kick into overdrive and thoughts of everything that was going on, every worry, every potential outcome, would swirl around in my head. I am certainly no stranger to working off a lack of real sleep. I lived as a student for longer than I care to admit at this time. But a lack of sleep because of working on something and a lack of sleep because of worry and depression are two very different beasts. With worry, there is no feeling of accomplishment the morning after, you worry has only compounded. Nothing you want to accomplish can happen overnight, so you just worry more.
Waking up this morning though, I felt like real change has taken place. It has been a month since my life fell to pieces. Everything I’ve been doing to put myself back together, building and working off the list, has started to show results. I am starting to feel like a different person. I am seeing positive changes and feeling good about what I have accomplished already. My successes so far are meagre, but they are still my successes and as I continue to move forward, I know I will have more. And those successes will make way for greater successes. I don’t know exactly where I’ll be by the end of this year, but I know I will be proud of myself for getting there.